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How to Attract Your Soulmate and have an Incredible Relationship – SBG1

How to Attract Your Soulmate and have an Incredible Relationship – SBG1

 

In this episode I talk to Love and Empowerment Coach for Women, Karolina Dobrovska.

We talk about why self-love is crucial to attracting and keeping your soulmate, how to write your own love story and create the kind of relationship you really want and how those of you already in a relationship can make it incredible.

Karolina and I dive deep into self-love, the Divine Feminine, how the masculine and feminine can relate more harmoniously, clearing negative beliefs and more.

There is so much juicy info in here for those of you who are single – and also those of you who are already in a relationship.

Watch the video here:

Listen to or download the Podcast here:

Karolina Dobrovska is a Tarot Alchemist, and a Love and Empowerment coach for women.  She has been called “the love expert” and “Australia’s answer to Hitch” by the Daily Telegraph.

She is the creator of the happily ever after ecourse, and the Attract your Soulmate workshop.  She also holds events on Tarot Alchemy where she teaches women how to use Tarot as a fun everyday tool. Originally from the Czech Rebublic, she now lives in Sydney Australia with her gorgeous partner and Soul mate.

She truly has one of the biggest hearts and biggest smiles of anyone you will ever meet and she is someone I am so honoured to call a friend.

Links for this Episode

Karolina’s Website

 

Join The Goddess Revolution Facebook Group

There is something so powerful about women coming together and supporting each other, so I also want to invite you to The Goddess Revolution Facebook groupClick here and ask to join.  If you’re a woman, I’ll go ahead and add you right away.

 

I would love to hear from you

Tell me in the comments below, what did you find most helpful about today’s episode?

Announcing the Soulful Bedroom Goddess Podcast – Weekly Chats on Relationships, Love Sexuality and Spirituality for Women

Announcing the Soulful Bedroom Goddess Podcast – Weekly Chats on Relationships, Love Sexuality and Spirituality for Women

 

Hi gorgeous ones, I’ve been wanting to do this for so long.

Welcome to the very first episode of the Soulful Bedroom Goddess Podcast where we chat weekly about Relationships, Love, Sexuality and Spirituality for women.


Today’s episode is just me, it’s about 10-15 minutes long, so it’s a little different to episodes I’ll be bringing you in future weeks.

I really wanted to share with you some of my own journey, why I’m feeling called to share this podcast with you and how I came to be a Relationship Therapist, Sexologist and Tantra teacher.

I also want to let you know what you’re going to get to hear in the Soulful Bedroom Goddess Podcast.

This podcast is really for women who want more from their lives.  Women who aren’t afraid to take a stand to be happy in all areas – their health, money, career, relationships, and their spiritual lives.

I can really feel a change in the last couple of years of more and more women being ready to step up and empower themselves.  Women all over the world are really empowering themselves in all areas of their lives, including their relationships and also their bedrooms.

Women everywhere are embracing their beautiful divine feminine qualities, they’re discovering wholehearted sensuality and soulful intimacy and they’re embracing a spirit led life.

This podcast is really in support and in celebration of that.

In future episodes, I’ll be interviewing a special guest each week to bring you conversations and advice on relationships, love, sex and spirituality for women.

You’re going to hear from some really amazing, wise women, but you’re going to hear from men too.

It’s going to be inspiring, uplifting and valuable. 

You’re going to get tips and advice that could really make a difference to your life, and you’re also going to hear personal stories and real conversations as well.

 

I would love to hear your feedback gorgeous!

 

2016 is the best year for your relationship yet

I love the new year. It always feels like such a time of freshness and opportunity, where we can let go of what no longer serves us and begin again.

I’m seeing so much around me at the moment on planning for the new year, setting new year’s resolutions and goals, I want to make sure that your relationship gets some attention in you new year’s resolutions too.

I really want 2016 to be the best year for your relationship yet.

Research has shown that couples who talk about their relationship and what they want from it have a higher rate of success than those that leave things unsaid.

The new year really offers an exciting opportunity for couples to talk about where they want to go and reassess where their relationship is at.

Christmas is often such a stressful time for relationships, the new year is also a chance for us to reconnect and start afresh.

To make it easy for you, I’ve made you a gift.

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The 2016 Love Map for couples.

You get 6 pages of easy activities and fun tips to help you work out what you really want from your relationship this year and how you can make it happen.

It’s like a Play Book for couples to help you bust the elephant in the room, remember what you love about each other and create a harmonious, loving relationship for the rest of the year.

I truly hope that 2016 brings so much joy, happiness and fulfillment to you and those you love.  And that this year is the best year for your relationship yet.

Download your Love Map by entering your details below.

I would be honoured for you to share your comments below.
What are you hoping for in your relationship this year?

It’s not about you

Do you ever feel like your partner’s reaction doesn’t fit the situation you’re in?
Like perhaps they’re over-reacting?
Or accusing you of doing something you’re not actually doing?

It’s frustrating. And confusing.

What’s happening often isn’t actually about you or the situation you’re in at all.

We all repeat patterns in our lives. We see the world through a particular lens, a lens that was formed often very early in our lives. Usually in our relationships with our parents.

Whatever happens to us after that, we make sense of it based on what happened before.

We take what is happening in the world around us and make it fit to the internal story we have.

We keep feeling and repeating the same patterns over and over again.

But it may not be the truth.

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Even though at the time your partner may be absolutely convinced (and angry and blaming) about what you’re doing, chances are, it’s not really about you at all.

They would find a way to feel these same emotions regardless of the situation they’re in.

It’s about their own internal patterns and emotions. Repeating patterns and emotions.

For example, if we’ve had an experience of someone we care about leaving us when we were very young, we will carry a fear of someone leaving us through our life. What ever our partner does, we may still interpret their behaviour as leaving us or react out of fear that they will.

What a relief!

I’m not telling you this so that you can put all the blame and responsibility back onto your partner.

I’m telling you this so you can be there for your partner, listen, try to understand and support them – without being defensive.

It doesn’t mean that you may not benefit from changing your behaviour in some way.

It just means you don’t have to take it personally.

What can you do when this is happening?

Listen with the intent to understand

Even if you don’t agree with what your partner is saying, or feel like they shouldn’t feel they way they do, try to understand their experience. What is happening inside of them is very real for them.
Repeat back what you’re hearing to they know you’re really hearing them.

Don’t go straight into telling your partner that you disagree or that what they’re seeing isn’t what is actually happening. Don’t even try to reassure them of your love and care right away.

Just tell them what you’ve heard them say so they feel understood.

Tell your partner you understand

Really. This is important: All feelings and behaviours make sense when we understand where they’re coming from. Based on your partner’s past, their patterns, their emotions, their way of seeing the world, how they’re feeling right now makes perfect sense.

It may not be the way you would feel, but it is they way they feel.

Tell your partner you understand.


Take responsibility for your part in it

Because chances are, you do have a part. Not the whole part, but a part. Perhaps you came home from work late and they felt like you didn’t care about them. Perhaps you said something that triggered them. Taking responsibility (and apologising) doesn’t mean that you intended to hurt them or that you’ve done something wrong.


Then take action if you feel to

Sometimes, in just feeling understood, your partner won’t need anything more. Perhaps you want them to know how much you care, or how you feel about the situation. Perhaps you want to know what you can do to lessen the chance of your partner feeling like this again in future.
You both have an opportunity to learn and grow from this, but the best way to support them is to be in connection with each other and really try to understand each other. You may also benefit from talking to a therapist about this patterns to gain support in breaking them down and resolving them.

You can make a difference

A couple of weeks ago, I shared with you that my partner and I had been reconsidering our relationship.

Following a particularly challenge time together with almost the same arguments re-surfacing, we talked and decided to keep working on things together.

Firstly, let me tell you that it hasn’t always been easy. Relationships rarely are.

And it hasn’t been a straight march forward. Like many couples I see working to maintain their connection, at times it has seemed like two steps forward and one step back.

We’ve shared a process of having things stirred up, working through them and deepening our connection since then. We’ve learned a lot about ourselves and each other. Overall, we’re getting there and falling more deeply in love because of it.

I want to share with you one of the things that has made the biggest difference for me.

Getting support.

Good support. Support from outside the relationship.

Sometimes we are so stuck in our battles, stuck in our own emotion and locked in our positions we can’t see the full picture of what is going on. We become stuck in our positions because we’re hurt and we’re not feeling heard. And we play out the same challenges and arguments over and over.

Sometimes an outside perspective and outside support can make all the difference.

I’m blessed to have friends who are brilliant therapists and I’m blessed to have been able to call on their support, perspective and guidance these past couple of weeks.

There are 3 things this support has so clearly given me over the past 2 weeks.

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Feeling that I’m heard

Sometimes in a relationship, we’re both so frustrated trying to get our point across and be understood that it’s hard to hear the other person. Or, we feel defensive about what they’re saying, so instead of just listening we defend ourselves.

When I can be heard and understood by someone else, I’m able to let go of some of my more emotional reactions. I feel less frustrated. I don’t need as much from my partner. Once I’ve been heard – even by someone else – I’m much more able to hear (and have empathy for) what is happening for my partner.


Opening to a difference perspective

Someone who isn’t as emotionally invested as my partner and I, is often able to point something out, or offer a perspective that neither of us can see.

It’s amazing what this can do to break the cycle of tension.


Helping me see my part more clearly

When there are challenges in a relationship, it’s often a little bit of what is happening for me, a little bit of what is happening for you and then what is happening between us. I’m often however more open to hearing about my role from someone who isn’t feeling frustrated with me at the time. A friend or therapist calmly and lovingly pointing out to me what I might be doing to contribute to our challenges, reaches me in a way my partner sometimes can’t.

Believe me, I have been looking at the part I play in all of this over the past few weeks. I think that’s actually one of the most challenging gifts a relationship offers – to see ourselves, our patterns and our wounds.

I’ve seen things about myself over the past two weeks, that are not my most shining attributes. I’ve uncovered painful experiences from my past that were diligently covered for a reason.

But in seeing them, we can understand how they’ve been effecting our current experience AND let them go.

All of this, can be done in a relationship, yes – but why put that kind of pressure on our relationship? We ask enough from our relationships as it is.

Supporting and nourishing ourselves outside of our relationship is so valuable. It means we have more to give to our relationship and our partner.

We don’t need to do it alone.

This support I’ve sought out in the past few weeks has allowed me to come back to my relationship differently. I can catch those moments where I would have reacted, stand firm within myself and take a different course of action going forward.

The most magical thing about this is that as I did that – my partner’s actions changed too.

It’s easy to get stuck in wanting our partner to change – or insisting that we go to couples therapy together.

If you are experiencing challenges, know that you don’t have wait for your partner to go to therapy with you. It can help so much to get support for yourself. It can also inspire our partners to want to join us or see someone together.

Outside support helps you bring a different perspective and the possibility of a different way of relating back to your relationship.

Just one of us working on ourselves and the relationship can make the world of difference.

Between now and Christmas, I’m offer my 45 minute Relationship Reset sessions for $67 instead of $100. In person or via Skype, you’ll get practical steps on how you can move forward and you get to test out what it’s like working with me.

I know what a challenge relationships can be and what a huge step it can be to reach out and ask for help, I want to make it easy for you.

Fill out the form below and I’ll call you for a free 10 minute chat so we can see if we’re a good fit for working together.

I admire anyone in a relationship

I’m sitting in a kind of stunned, vulnerable humility this week. 

And also a deep sense of awe.  

I admire anyone who’s in a relationship, anyone who’s ever been in a relationship and anyone brave enough to acknowledge the longing for deep, intimate connection with a partner.

Relationships can be tough.  They can be damn hard work.

They can also be a space for deepening personal growth and awareness.

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I almost didn’t share this post with you today.  Even as I’m writing it, I’m not sure that I’ll hit publish and send.  There’s a feeling of: “Oh, really?  Can I really share this with the world?  What if everyone thinks I’m a fraud?”

But it feels important to me.

I want to acknowledge you for ever trying to make a relationship work – relationships can be challenging.

I want to acknowledge the courage it takes to reach the point where you know you can’t do it on your own anymore and reach out and ask for help.

I want to dispel any fantasy you might have that my relationship is always perfect.

I also want to share with you what keeps me going when it all feels too hard.

I’m going to be honest.

This week, I’ve faced big challenges in my own relationship – ‘feeling like I can’t do this anymore and want to leave’ kind of challenges.

Over the past few weeks, my partner and I have been disconnected.  We’ve been pushing each others buttons and taking everything personally.  This week, we even decided to spend a night apart.  When we came back together, neither of us knew if we wanted to keep going.

We sat down and talked and gave each other our full attention.  In each of us taking responsibility for our own feelings and talking things through were able to understand more clearly what had been going on for the other person.  And ultimately we decided that what we have is worth staying together for.

It’s left me vulnerable and open.  But it’s also left me in deep awe.  

I see the struggles couples face on a daily basis.  Particularly in our busy world, where we’ve got so much to juggle in our lives, it’s not easy.

There’s often a sense in our society that we should just be able to make a relationship work, like it’s the most natural thing on earth.

While relationships are natural, it’s rarely that easy or simple.  Human beings – and their relationships – are complex.  We’re rarely taught some of the skills and advice that can make things easier.

I’ve spent years studying those skills and advice and this week is testament to it still not being easy.  I deeply admire couples who continue to work on their relationship when these challenges go on long term.

And I have the deepest sense of respect and admiration for those couples that come to see me as a therapist, individuals and couples who put up their hands and ask for support and guidance.

The work I have done with couples over the years and also the energy I’ve put into my own relationship has shown me though just how incredibly rewarding it can be when we do choose to work on our relationship.

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When we move towards the challenges that we face and commit to finding solutions, rather than sweeping things under the carpet or just hoping things will be better later or in our next relationship, we face the possibility of both change and personal growth.

With all the skills, courage, determination and love I could muster this week, I decided to stay in my relationship and already I’ve been blown away by the growth, awareness and depth of intimacy that has brought.  I’m deeply grateful to my partner for the commitment we both have to talking things through.

I’m deeply grateful for the what my relationship brings up for me, it helps me see parts of myself that have been hidden, I get to bring them into awareness where they can be healed and let go of.

Even with it’s challenges, I’m grateful my relationship is a place of growth and transformation.

I know my relationship makes me a better person, a better lover and a better therapist.

We’re coming into the time of year that is busiest for me as a therapist.  Every year as we head towards December and Christmas I increasingly see couples whose relationship stress is reaching breaking point.

At a time of love and good will, relationship stress can seem in stark contrast and often motivates couples to seek help.

Between now and Christmas, I’m offer my 45 minute Relationship Reset sessions for $67 instead of $100.  In person or via Skype, you’ll get practical steps on how you can move forward and you get to test out what it’s like working with me.

I know what a challenge relationships can be and what a huge step it can be to reach out and ask for help, I want to make it easy for you.

Fill out the form below and I’ll call you for a free 10 minute chat so we can see if we’re a good fit for working together.

5 Surprising Benefits of Tantra

Tantra is a hot topic at the moment.

I’m being asked about it more and more by people showing up to my workshops and private sessions.

It really is an amazing practice. Although Tantra is an ancient practice, it’s still incredibly practical and relevant today.

Previously I’ve shared with you my story and the role Tantra played in me learning to love my body and feel more confident about myself. I’ve also shared some of the benefits that Tantra can have for your relationship.

Often, when I mention Tantra to people they reply to me “Oh, I know about Tantra. Sting does Tantra and he can have sex for 9 hours!”

It’s not all just about lasting longer in bed or having full-body orgasms.

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Although if you have 9 hours that you can spend in bed, good for you and I really do recommend full-body orgasms.

I’ve seen Tantra change so many lives.  Today, I want to share with you some of the more surprising benefits of this truly beautiful practice, in the hope of enticing you to want to learn more too.


1.  Inner peace

Tantra is a form of yoga and mediation, so it helps you feel calmer and more centered. I have to tell you though, Tantra is a really beautiful kind of meditation, as it’s not just all about sitting still, people often find it easier (and more effective) than regular meditation.

2.  Increased energy and vitality

Tantra is all about building and cultivating energy. We draw energy from the earth and we cycle sexual energy around our body, rather than discharging it immediately through orgasm. There’s an awakeness and aliveness you feel in your body when practicing Tantra!

3.  Access to inner wisdom

Tantra brings us in touch with our body, so we can drop below the confusion of the mind and be guided by deep, inner wisdom of the body and heart.

4.  You bring more love to every interaction

Tantra helps us transform sexual energy into love energy and really live from our hearts. Practicing Tantra regularly really does help us bring more presence and love to every interaction we have, creating more harmonious relationships with everyone we meet.

5.  Balancing physical and emotional intimacy with a partner

Sometimes in a relationship, one partner has a higher need for sexual intimacy and the other a higher need for emotional intimacy. Tantra helps us bring these desires into harmony and balance physical and emotional intimacy.

If you’d like to find out more, I’m inviting you to Soulful Bedroom Goddess Online, a journey of Tantra, sensuality, self-love and the divine feminine….

Soulful Bedroom Goddess Online is everything I’ve been sharing with women in my in person classes and more.

This 6 week journey supports you to connect with your sensuality and divine feminine spirit for greater self-love, confidence, pleasure and sexiness in your bedroom and soulful intimacy with your Lover (or the Lover you’re about to draw in).

It’s truly a beautiful program — all the details are here.

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5 Things I wish Men Knew About Women and Sex

Maintain a satisfying, loving, thriving sex life involves emotional and relationship factors like spending time together, trust, openness, generosity and intimacy.

But this isn’t all we need.

It’s also vital that we understand how our bodies work, discover the mechanics of pleasure and know the differences between masculine and feminine sexual energy.

That’s why I run Soulful Bedroom Goddess workshops for women.

Simple, vital information can help us feel more confident in the bedroom, have incredible orgasms and maintain passion with a partner.

Vital sex education

We’re all disadvantaged by the sexual roles society lays out for us.

Men are expected to know it all. Somehow, they’re supposed to be an expert on every woman’s body.

Women aren’t taught about the complexity of our bodies and sexual drive, we’re not taught that it’s okay to ask for what we want, and we’re often shamed for seeming to enjoy ourselves ‘too much’.

On some level this is all quite obvious, but a little sex education can make such a huge difference to our enjoyment of sex, intimacy and connection.

Here are 5 things I wish men knew about women and sex

 

1. Women need time to warm up – at least 15 minutes actually

Men, sexually, are like matches – quick to light, and very exciting. Women are more like log fires – we take some attention to get going, but once we’ve built some momentum, and the fire is roaring, we can be very powerful.

Complex changes take place in our bodies as we prepare for sex. These changes take time.

About 15 minutes actually.

This means we need foreplay to last for at least 15 minutes so we’re fully physically prepared to be penetrated.

Having time to warm up increases our enjoyment, increases our chances of reaching orgasm and decreases the possibility we’ll feel pain.

Starting slowly and taking your time enhances pleasure for both of us.

 

2. The Outside-In Rule

Touch women from the outside in. Feminine sexual energy flows differently to masculine sexual energy.

There are parts of us (like the clitoris and nipples) you know will give us pleasure. And yes, we love it when you touch us there. But we’re sensitive too. And we need time to open to you.

Touching the rest of our body first will help us feel more during sex, help us become present and start our energy flowing. It will help us feel safe, feel cherished, feel loved and connected to you.

Turn our body on slowly, moving slowly toward our most sensitive parts.


3. We don’t need you to be harder, faster or bigger

Harder and faster is not always better. We’re far more subtle than pornography would have you believe.

The most sensitive part of us is in the first 1-2 inches of our vagina. The clitoris is external and the G-spot is all about the right angle. Bigger doesn’t cross our minds.

You are enough for us as you are. We’re not interested in your ‘performance’, we’re interested in connecting with you.

Focus on the subtle, sensual pleasure available in each moment. Stillness can be radically intimate and profoundly pleasurable.


4.  We want you to penetrate us with your energy and your love

We want to feel you. We want to feel your presence and your love.

It’s not just your physical energy we want, it’s your depth, your ability to open our hearts and take us deeper.

We want to feel you right there with us, every single moment. We want to see you and be seen.

Your presence tells us we can trust you. Your presence opens our hearts. With an open heart, we gratefully open our body to you.


5.  We don’t always understand your need for sex – be patient with us

Our energy flows differently to yours. Our energy flow is upwards from the earth and out through our heart. Your masculine energy flows downwards and out through the sex centers.

We can often be quite content sitting in our love for you without the drive to transfer that to sexual intimacy.

Sometimes we will misunderstand what your desire for sex means and where it comes from.

Be patient with us. Explain to us why you want to be close to us, that physical intimacy is an expression of love for you and remind us of the ecstasy that comes when our energies flow in harmony.

 

Is there something you wish men understood about women?
Men – is there something you don’t understand that you’d like to clarify?

This brought tears to my eyes

I fell in love with my partner even more this week.

I want to tell you what he did because I know this is something that causes HUGE tension for other couples.  Actually, it’s caused huge tension for us in the past too, but this week my love got it spot on.

What my partner did was simple, but so powerful it brought tears to my eyes.

This is us on the last night of our holiday. Enjoying the last of the Californian sunshine.

This is us on the last night of our holiday. Enjoying the last of the Californian sunshine.

My partner is incredibly wise and perceptive.

I know that he wants the very best for me and really tries to help me in every way he can.

But here’s the thing:  I don’t always want his help.

I know that seems crazy – especially to you guys.

This is something that I see a lot of other couples get tripped up on.  Let me explain a little more.

Sometimes I want my partner to know how I’m feeling.  I want to feel like he understands my feelings, even if it seems completely illogical and irrational that I would be feeling that way.

By sharing what’s going on for me, I feel close and connected to him.  

It somehow helps me to ‘get it out’, to share about it.  It’s as if the emotional energy I’m feeling can move through me instead of getting stuck and bottled up inside which usually doesn’t end well for anyone.

Feeling emotions (even the so-called negative ones) is not something I see as a bad thing.  I know my emotions are illogical and irrational, that’s the nature of emotions.

I also know that they’ll pass.

What I really want is to feel understood. 

Heard. 

Validated.  

My partner though, in his love and care for me, really wants to make me feel better.

So he does what good men do.

He tries to fix it.

He shares his wisdom or advice.  Or starts formulating an action plan.

Things usually don’t go well from there.

Even if his advice is good (and usually it is), I end up feeling like he hasn’t really listened to me.  I feel like my emotions are something I should be ashamed of.  I feel like he doesn’t understand me.

I know from my work as a Relationship Therapist that many other couples get stuck in this too.

So what is it that my partner did this week that made me fall even more in love with him?

Nothing.

Yes, nothing.

I know right, crazy?!
On Monday we were sitting together talking as we waited for flights – his to Tokyo, mine back to Sydney.

I was tired, I was hungry (never a good thing), I was sad that we were flying to different parts of the world.  I was also feeling angry about something he said.

I told him some of what I was feeling.

He started to say something and then… he STOPPED.

He sat back in his chair and looked at me with the most incredible love in his eyes.  

In the silence I shared more of what was happening for me.  And then more.

As I shared my emotions more came to the surface.  I told him everything.

He said nothing, but I felt him right there with me, listening the whole time.  When he could feel that I was finished speaking, he nodded and told me that he understood.

That was it.  And it was perfect.

I felt heard.  I felt understood.  I felt held.

I was so grateful and so connected to him that tears rolled down my face.

And then, as suddenly as it began, it was over.  In being able to speak my emotions and have them heard, they could move through me.  I felt different.  Not angry, not sad, not afraid.  Just Love actually.  

My partner just listening to me and hearing me was the greatest gift he could have given me in that moment, and I fell even more in love with him.


Sometimes being there for the people we love requires less doing and more just being than we might imagine.

Is this something you can relate to in your own relationships?

6 Relationship habits all really happy long-term couples have

We all tend to fall into a routine in long-term relationships.

We make habits and rituals as a couple that help shape and define our lives together.

Perhaps it’s going to breakfast on a Saturday morning, one partner making the bed while the other makes coffee or a particular way of celebrating a holiday.

If we are going to form habits as a couple, why not form good ones?

Here are 6 habits that all really happy couples have:

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1. Make time for each other

It’s easy to feel that our relationship will be there when we’ve done everything else we need to do. It’s easy to take our relationship for granted while we work on our goals.

We can tell ourselves that were doing it for the relationship or that we’re building a future together, but the truth is, spending time on our relationship needs to be a habit and a priority now, so our relationship is there in future.

Make spending quality time (with just the two of you and no TV) a habit.

Make date night a priority, give yourselves time and space to just be present together, enjoy each other’s company and relax.


2.  Practice appreciation

Appreciation builds love and trust. Telling our partner the things we appreciate about them brings us closer, we become kinder to each other, and more generous.

We can fall into the trap of thinking our partner knows all the reasons we love them, but often they don’t. We all have self-doubt at times and being told what is appreciated by others is uplifting, nourishing and intimate.

Make sharing appreciation with your partner a habit. If you appreciate something your partner does for you, let them know. If you like the way they’ve done their hair today, let them know. Do they have a quirk you love? Tell them.

The more you share, the easier everything becomes and the more love and trust builds between you.

[ File # csp1627412, License # 3119727 ] Licensed through http://www.canstockphoto.com in accordance with the End User License Agreement (http://www.canstockphoto.com/legal.php) (c) Can Stock Photo Inc. / cathames


3. Make sex a habit

Things in the bedroom were roaring at the start of your relationship, but then you found it was only happening a couple of times a week and some days you suddenly realise how long it’s been since you were intimate like that.

Sex isn’t the most important aspect of a relationship, but an enjoyable, intimate sex life can  nourish a relationship, bring us closer and build love.

To keep our sex life happy and hot requires some energy and attention. It’s nurtured by us setting aside time for it, talking about what we want and making it special.

Regular love-making can become a ritual that is both beautiful and satisfying.

4.  Say sorry

I’m the first to put my hand up and say I find it hard to say I’m sorry. I become defensive, I feel like there’s something wrong with me and my shame blocks intimacy in our relationship.

But I know the intimacy and the connection that lie on the other side of my fear. I’m so familiar with the softening in my partner’s eyes when I can take full responsibility for what I’ve said or how I’ve behaved.

Saying sorry builds connection, love and compassion.

Taking responsibility helps us grow.

Apologize whole-heartedly and often.

5.  Reassess where your relationship is going

Really happy couples talk about how their relationship is going, what they love about it and what they would like to work on.

Happy couples feel comfortable voicing their needs for the relationship and holding a shared view for the direction of the relationship.

Reassessing your relationship reminds you it’s a priority and keeps it fresh. I recommend couples take time regularly to talk about where their relationship is at and how to make it even better going forward.

6.  Take time apart

Taking time apart is a vital part of a healthy relationship. Remaining individuals keeps a relationship strong and vibrant.  

Out partner can’t be our everything, we have to keep our own interests, our own goals and own desires.

Time to ourselves is nourishing. Taking time apart allows us to give more to our relationship and keeps our relationship alive and fresh.

The great thing about habits is that once they become habits, they don’t feel like work anymore.

Start building habits that make your relationship amazing!