Ever criticise yourself during sex? Here’s how to stop.

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Can I tell you something, beautiful?

We all want mind-blowing sex and a deep, loving connection.

And the one thing I hear over and over from women that seems to get in their way is the ‘mean girl’ voice that arises just when they’re trying to enjoy themselves.

Maybe you have your own inner mean girl?

She chimes in at the most inappropriate times, ready to tell us the ways we’re not good enough or what we’re doing wrong.

She says things like:

  • Your thighs look fat in this position.
  • You have curves in all the wrong places.
  • You’re too sexy.
  • You’re not sexy enough.
  • I don’t think you’re doing this right…

Sound familiar?

We can’t deeply connect with our lover when our mean girl is so loud.

She stops us being present.

She holds us back from pleasure.

She holds us back from love, from deep intimacy.

She’s only trying to protect you. Her constant chatter is all in the name of keeping you safe.

But, it’s time to stop listening to her.

It’s time to open yourself to deeper pleasure, connection and love.

 1. Stop and breathe


Take a breath. A deep breath.

Feel it enter and nourish every single cell of your body, all the way down to your toes.

Feel your body, your whole body as the breath comes in.

You get to choose where you place your awareness. By simply turning your attention to something other than thoughts, your mean girl loses her power over you.

2. Feel the fear that’s driving her

Your mean girl thrives on fear. She is run by fear.

Underneath whatever she’s saying, you’ll discover fear.

Fear that you’re not enough. Fear that you’re unlovable. Fear of rejection.

It’s all bullshit, but the trick is to be willing to feel it, just for a moment.

Turn to face it head on.

When you face the fear, you’re no longer running from it and your mean girl isn’t in the driver’s seat anymore.

Feel the fear and your mean girl in no longer in control. You are.

3. Open your heart

 Open your heart, beauty. Even wider.

To fear.

To your mean girl.

To yourself.

When you open your heart to these, you make your love bigger than fear, bigger than your mean girl. And when you choose to open your heart, you’re choosing love.

Love is where we find connection. Love makes deep intimacy possible.

When our heart is open, love becomes our guide.

You will move and you will connect in ways you didn’t know were possible.

And you experience love as your nature.

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