Article

How to ask for what you want in bed

Written by:

Isiah McKimmie

Couples Therapist and Sexologist

Share This Post

Those of you who know me know how I feel about this!

I’m all about us being empowered in our sexuality, and having it be as enjoyable as possible. Learning how to ask for what you want in bed is a crucial part of that empowerment.

We deserve to feel pleasure.

We deserve to fully enjoy sex.

And making sure we do that is our responsibility.

There is so much to be said for us discovering what it is that we enjoy.

None of us is born great at sex, or innately knowing what we like. We have to figure it out through exploration.

We’ve got to stop expecting a partner to just know what to do, or blaming them if we’re not enjoying what’s happening.

I often hear women say things like:

I’m afraid to tell my partner that I don’t like what they’re doing.

I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

I just don’t know what to ask for.

Sometimes I ask for something and he doesn’t do it right.

I also hear men say they really wish they had more direction, because they really want to please their partner – they’re just not sure how.

Over and over I hear men tell me that they feel performance pressure. They feel like they’re expected to know what to do. And they feel out of their depth and a bit clueless.

So I’m going to share with you how and when you can start the conversation. And don’t worry, with a bit of practice, this gets easier – and we tend to get more creative with practice! So give yourself permission to start. Most partners will love you being more open and expressive about your sexual wants and needs.

My hope is that today’s episode helps you think differently about your pleasure and how to get more of it!

I’m going to be talking about this more in my Epic Orgasms Course coming out soon.

Make sure you join the waitlist to be the first to hear when it opens.

PLUS click here to get your copy of my full list of sexting suggestions + 34 message examples mentioned in the episode.

Written by:

Isiah McKimmie

Isiah McKimmie is a Relationship Counsellor, Couples Therapist and Sexologist. Compassionate, understanding and non-judgemental, she offers therapy sessions for individuals and couples and online courses.
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
0 Comments
Oldest
Newest

Popular Articles

Let's Get Started

I Offer Private Therapy Sessions As A Relationship Counsellor, Sexologist, Sex Therapist & Coach.