Choosing a sex toy can be an overwhelming experience. In fact, one of the most common questions I get asked about it is “How do I know which is the right one for me? Where do I even start?”
I’ve recently teamed up with PleasureBase, an exciting new concept that aims to share open, honest conversations around sex and intimacy and help you find the right toy for you at the best price.
It wasn’t long ago that sex toys were seen as taboo and shopping for them involved descending a set of stairs into a grimy, intimidating basement full over-sized phalluses in neon pink. Thankfully, we’ve come a long way over the last decade. You can now shop from the comfort of your own home and have discreet parcels delivered to your door.
Many couples I work with are now experimenting with sex toys as a way of maintaining fun and variety in their bedrooms. Men, as well as women, are finding that toys are a great way to enhance their solo experience.
A cautionary word here that a sex toy won’t solve all your relationship and sexual challenges, but it can be fun and empowering.
So, with that said, here’s how to find the right sex toy for you:
Consider what you want to use it for
Choosing a sex toy isn’t a one-size-fits all. Finding the right toy for you largely depends on how you want to use it. You might even end up with a few sex toys so you can always pull out the right one for your mood.
Consider whether you want to use the toy for your solo pleasure or if you plan to include it in your partner play.
Talk to your partner if you plan on using it with them
If you’re planning on buying a toy for your partner, make sure you have a good idea that they’ll actually use it. I’ve heard far too many stories of sex toys collecting dust in the back of a drawer somewhere.
If you and your partner are relatively open about sex, you can probably guess what they’ll enjoy.
But if this is your first time using a toy, it can be a good idea to have both of you involved in the decision making.
If you’re unsure of how to talk to your partner about using a sex toy, go back and read this post.
Know how you experience pleasure
How you experience pleasure will determine the best toy for you.
- If you love G-Spot pleasure, I recommend: Lelo Gigi 2
Notice how it has a curve? That’s so it can get the right angle for the G pleasure.
- If clitoral stimulation tickles your fancy, I recommend: Je Joue Mimi Soft
What I love about this is it’s easy to use for self-pleasure and partnered sex.
- If you want to use a toy at the same time as having penetration sex with your hetero partner, I recommend: We-Vibe Sync
It’s a wearable device, so you both get added pleasure.
- And, if you’re open to anal pleasure, I recommend this little gem.
Anal play toys are specifically designed for safety, comfort and pleasure. Just remember to always use lube when engaging in anal play.
Start with what you’re comfortable with
You can add to your collection of toys over time. Start by buying what you’re most comfortable with and therefore most likely to use.
Always choose Body Safe material
Regardless of which toy you’re using and how you’re going to use it, ensure that it’s made of body safe material. High-quality sex toys now tend to be made of medical-grade silicon. It’s worth the slightly higher price for something that won’t smell like cheap plastic or leach harmful chemicals into your most delicate parts. They’ll also be more durable too.