At Isiah McKimmie Relationship Counselling and Sexology, we understand how daunting the first steps of therapy can feel. Whether this is your first time in therapy or you’ve tried other approaches, we want to make this process as comfortable, supportive, and effective as possible.
You’re coming to therapy because you want things to change—whether that’s better communication, deeper intimacy, or resolving ongoing conflict. And we know you’re eager to make those changes as quickly as possible. It’s natural to want tools and takeaways right from the first session, but lasting change requires more than just quick fixes.
You’ve likely already tried those quick fixes on your own—whether that’s making more time for each other, trying new things, or having difficult conversations. While these may have helped in the short term, they probably haven’t delivered the long-term results you’re looking for.
Our approach is different. At Isiah McKimmie Relationship Counselling and Sexology, we follow a proven process designed to create lasting transformation. We believe in offering you tools that will make a real difference, but first, we need to fully understand your relationship. Just as you wouldn’t expect a doctor to make recommendations without a full assessment, we adopt the same careful approach in therapy.
Our therapists are trained in gold-standard methods of couples therapy, backed by research showing that up to 75% of couples move from distress to recovery, and approximately 90% show significant improvements. These changes are often sustained for years after therapy, allowing you to enjoy your relationship in a way that’s healthy, fulfilling, and lasting.
To ensure that the positive changes you experience are permanent, we take the time to get a full picture of your relationship from the start. This involves a thorough assessment so we can give you the tools and support that will have the biggest impact.
In the following sections, I’ll explain the key steps we prioritise at the beginning of therapy to help you and your partner get on the path to a stronger, more connected relationship.
While we always tailor therapy to meet the individual needs of each couple, here are some important steps that you can expect.
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The first step in couples therapy is for me to meet with both of you together. This initial session is an opportunity to talk about some of the challenges you’re facing or your reasons for coming to therapy. But it’s not just about focusing on the difficulties. We also take time to explore the strengths in your relationship and what you appreciate about each other. At the end of this session, many clients report feeling much more comfortable than they had expected and hopeful about their future together.
This session allows us to understand what your goals and needs are for therapy. You’ll be asked questions like:
Setting positive goals is an important part of the process. When we focus on what we want to build in the relationship, rather than just what we want to fix, change tends to happen faster and last longer. It’s okay if you’re not sure yet if you want to stay together—that’s very common. In fact, one of your goals might be figuring that out with the support of a therapist.
Finally, this session also gives you the chance to make sure you feel comfortable with your assigned therapist. If you don’t feel like it’s a good fit, that’s okay—we can arrange for you to meet with a different therapist free of charge.
A thorough assessment is critical for getting a complete picture of your relationship.
Our therapists use the Gottman Relationship Checkup for this step, which is based on over 40 years of scientific research and aligns with the Gottman and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) frameworks. Each partner will take about an hour to complete the assessment, and the results provide a highly detailed view of the relationship, including its strengths—not just the areas that need improvement.
This assessment allows us to tailor therapy to your specific needs. Rather than a one-size-fits-all approach, the insights from the checkup guide us in creating a plan that focuses on what will make the biggest difference for your relationship.
This tailored and specific approach makes therapy faster and more effective overall. Rather than spending sessions trying to uncover the root causes, we can use the assessment to dive into the most important issues right away. By understanding both what needs to be fixed and what’s already working well, we can focus on creating meaningful and lasting change from the start.
Individual sessions are an important part of the early assessment process. They provide each partner with a safe space to share personal thoughts, feelings, or concerns that they might be hesitant to express in front of their partner. This one-on-one time allows us to gain a deeper understanding of each person’s unique perspective without the worry of causing discomfort or tension in the relationship.
These sessions are about making sure both partners feel fully heard, understood, and supported. By taking the time to hear each person’s individual experiences, we can create a more balanced and comprehensive approach to therapy that truly addresses the needs of the relationship. It also helps us, as therapists, tailor the therapeutic process in a way that encourages growth and positive change for both partners.
Therapy is most effective when the work doesn’t stop at the end of each session. That’s why we provide additional resources to help you keep making progress between sessions. These could include tailored homework exercises, recommended reading, or videos that support the work we’re doing in therapy.
Homework exercises might focus on communication skills, emotional connection, or specific activities designed to deepen your intimacy. These practical tools help reinforce the strategies we’re working on in therapy, giving you and your partner a chance to practise what you’ve learned in real-life situations.
You’ll also have access to books and video resources that explore key topics more deeply. These resources are designed to make change happen faster and more effectively by giving you ongoing support and insights outside of the therapy room. They help keep momentum going, ensuring that the positive changes you experience aren’t limited to the hour you spend in therapy, but extend into your everyday life.
Our goal is to empower you with everything you need to create lasting change, both during your sessions and beyond.
Starting couples therapy can feel like a big decision, but the first step is simple: book a complimentary call with us. This call is your chance to share a bit about your situation and let us know what you’re looking for in therapy. It also allows us to match you with the therapist who is the best fit for your needs and goals.
We want to ensure that you feel confident and supported from the very beginning. Our team is here to guide you through the process and answer any questions you might have. Whether you’re ready to dive in or just exploring your options, this call is the perfect way to get started.
Every relationship is unique, and we’re committed to helping you find the right approach to create meaningful, lasting change.
When you join Couples Counselling and Sexology with us, you’ll spend less time worrying about your relationship or feeling hurt and disconnected and more time enjoying your life together
Take the first step toward a stronger, more connected relationship by booking your complimentary call today.
