Love is Action. Love is something we DO, not just something we feel.
Love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe.
And like all powerful forces, it creates movement.
Love is a verb.
In my work, I often hear, ‘we’ve ‘fallen out of love’.
But maybe a better way to describe this is ‘we stopped giving love’.
We expect that once we feel/create love, it will stay. Then we can go on with our busy lives. We spend time on our devices, dedicate ourselves to work and spend time juggling the numerous tasks we have in our lives.
The ‘love’ relationship is expected to thrive on its own. We expect love to just be there.
But we’ve got it all wrong.
Love is something we DO.
Passionate love, the feeling we normally associate with ‘being in love’ is based on a cocktail of hormones and endorphins. Designed by nature, these hormones and the ‘honeymoon period’ give us an incentive to procreate. However, this phase isn’t permanent, it wasn’t designed to be.
Nonetheless, this kind of love can be replaced by something deeper.
We might call it companion love, or real love.
The urgent feeling of lust might subside, but love itself doesn’t need to fade, and neither does our sex life.
What it requires is that we nurture our love – every day. To see love as an action.
I often see couples deliberately withholding love.
And I know I have been guilty of this too.
This tends to occur when each partner is angry at one another because they’re not receiving the love they want. Perhaps one partner wants more emotional intimacy and the other wants more sexual intimacy. Because neither is receiving what they want, they also stop giving love.
And, unsurprisingly, the result is that both partners feel a lack of love.
They’re not giving. Because they’re not getting.
What if we each took responsibility for GIVING love?
What might happen to our relationships if we knew that love was about action? Our actions?
Giving love can be incredibly rewarding, and we don’t need to start expecting love in return. We can feel good just by the act of exuding love. To give love and feel love flowing through us is one of the greatest gifts of all.
Try it right now.
Close your eyes, imagine someone you love and see them in front to you. Feel yourself sending them love, like a warm energy flowing from you to them.
How does it feel? What do you notice?
We don’t lose out if we give love and ‘get nothing’ in return.
Acting with love requires some effort, but if you want ‘companion’ love, and that deeper connection, then the effort is worth it!
Love needs to be nurtured – every day.
Love requires action.
Love is a verb.
So tell me:
How could you show more love to your partner today?
How could YOU take responsibility for deepening the connection between you?