Some of you will know that one of the experiences that led me to working in the field of sexuality, intimacy and relationships, was my time working as a Sexual Surrogate.
In this role, I worked intimately and practically with men experiencing sexual dysfunction such as low libido, premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.
It was an incredible opportunity to see just how deeply sexuality impacts us as human beings, but also the professional possibilities for helping people. I struggle to put into words how profound, insightful and rewarding that work was for me.
Although I mostly work with women and couples now, it’s still something close to my heart.
I receive a LOT of questions from women now on how to support their men with sexual challenges including low desire, ED and PE.
55% of men will have experienced a sexual dysfunction within the last 12 months. Which means a significant portion of women will encounter these issues also.
Our culture places high expectations on men to be sexually proficient and capable at all times.
When men experience sexual challenges of any kind, they often report it bringing into question their sense of worth and their masculinity.
They often express feeling:
- Shame/embarrassment
- Frustration/anger
- Disappointment in themselves
- Hopelessness/despair
Our culture also places an expectation on women to feel desired and sought-after.
When a woman’s partner is experiencing sexual challenges, it can sometimes lead her to question her own desirability (even though this usually has little to do with what’s going on!)
Women often experience a range of thoughts and emotions when their partner experiences sexual challenges, such as:
- Feeling like they don’t know what to do to help
- Wanting to ignore the problem so they don’t embarrass their partner
- Frustration
- Rejection
- Helplessness
- Questioning their own attractiveness
How a partner responds to a sexual dysfunction can make a big difference to what happens going forward.
For some men, the negative reaction of a partner increases their anxiety about it happening again – almost guaranteeing it does.
But there are helpful ways a partner can respond, and there are steps a man can take, to overcome these sexual challenges.
In this episode of Wholehearted Love, Sex + Intimacy, you’ll hear:
- The 4 most common sexual challenges men experience
- The client who though he had premature ejaculation, but was actually experiencing something very different
- How men’s partners can respond in a way that’s supportive and can help a man recover faster
- The underlying causes of each sexual dysfunction
- Practical steps you need to take to fix them
